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Demo(n)s

Uncontrolled: The fifth horseman is fear

17/07/09  ||  Lord K Philipson

You might have heard this before, and if that’s the case you are prolly too retarded to remember it for a long time so I guess it doesn’t matter much in the end… Here we go. Some people think that GD is all about mocking shitty bands, making fun of idiots such as Mike Poggione of Monstrosity “fame” (sadly enough he’s more “famous” for his racist remarks in interviews and Auschwitz pictures on MySpace. Look at this page), pissing on Nightwish and their beloved elves etc, etc…

They are wrong.

We also like to point out how fucken ugly some people are, take a shit on worthless individuals, their families, their pets and their non-existing friends, you know – so it’s not all about mocking shitty bands and their music. And surprisingly enough, we do get some music on our hands that we tend to like. Sometimes we even choose to review fave albums of ours and those writings usually turn out pretty kind on the band. They should, I mean – we consider them fave bands after all. Most of the time we can’t help but to pour excrement over bands who are existing for no good reason – they are beyond the Level Of Total Suckage (read Xasthur, just to name one) and why the fuck they even entered a studio to begin with will always remain a mystery. We must let the world know about these abominations poorly disguised as “bands”. All this covers the remaining quota of what we do here at Global Domination.

100% of the time, though, we love to tell the truth about the metal scene of today, what’s hot and what’s not and who deserves to be shot. This is our passion and we do it better than everyone else (hey, there’s one other site on the net that actually approaches stuff similar to how we do it, and we applaud them without hesitation. Check out Teufel’s Tomb. At least 2 sites on the net got their shit in check – that is just fucken magnificent). Either way, lemme axe you a question:

Which category of the afore-mentioned ones this demo will be filed under?

Well, I think I have heard worse bands at some point in my life, but I am sure I have heard fuckloads of better ones. A former staffer covered these guys’ first demo some time back and obviously that review made them think they better send us their new recording. I don’t know if they should have…

Uncontrolled’s got themselves a fucken incredibly annoying vocalist in symbiosis with one of the weakest productions I have heard in quite some time. That is hardly a great start for me. There’s the occasional promising riff popping out but then this muthafucken one-dimensional singer-fucko decides it’s about time to destroy the material. At least he succeeds with his goal, which is a task in itself. This guy must be sucking the sausages of the other retards in Uncontrolled coz he can’t be in the band on vocal talent alone. You get the exact same annoying tone in every verse, bridge or chorus. Annoying is just the start of it…

Besides that, Uncontrolled sounds, ehum, uncontrolled, if you may excuse my poor attempt at humor. In one song they come across as a band focusing on being a rather death metallish act while in the next they slow the tempo down and try to create some grooving metal – with zero fucken success. It’s also quite untight at times, and do not forget the production that I was talking about earlier. Judging from the review of their first demo I think they have gotten worse on this one. I’m not planning on listening to the previous recording any time soon to see if my notion is justified.

“The fifth horseman is fear“? The fifth horseman is fucken sucking super pee-pee, that’s what the fifth horseman is doing. Guys, use this review as fucken fire under yer asses and get yer shit together.

(un)Color me (un)impressed, Uncontrolled.

  • Information
  • Released: 2009
  • Website: Uncontrolled MySpace
  • Band
  • Mårten: guitars. vocals
  • Johan: bass, backing vocals
  • Mats: drums, backing vocals
  • Tracklist
  • 01. The fifth horseman is fear
  • 02. History of violence
  • 03. To the gates
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